


This isn’t goodbye

by youthfullyxhappy



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom
Genre: ALL THE GAY, Fluff, M/M, my two fave boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-10 01:20:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youthfullyxhappy/pseuds/youthfullyxhappy
Summary: Cyrus gets nostalgic as he and TJ get ready to leave for college





	This isn’t goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! Thank you all so much for reading I really hope you enjoy it! My tumblr is @youarestillyoucyrus

Dear Tj, 

When I was ten years old, my mom told me that when I meet the girl I fall in love with that I will see stars in her eyes, and an angel in her smile. When I came out to my mom as gay, she told me that nothing will change, but if don’t see some type of glimmer in his eyes to leave him behind, and that’s when I met you. God, the first time I looked into your green eyes I knew I was screwed. I never use to put the words green and happy together, but now that’s all I think, because when I see green, I see you, and you are my happy.   
I always think back to that day when my mom was talking to me about falling in love, I never really understood it. I didn’t understand that I could actually get a zoo in my stomach when I looked at the right person, I didn’t understand that the phrase ‘I love you’ held so much more than just three words, but most importantly I never understood how somebody could fall in love with me, the way you do. 

On our first real date you took me to a book store. We both picked out books for the other to read, then we went to target and bought fuzzy blankets and pillows, spending way too much money, then we drove around until we found an abandoned parking lot. We parked your car and made a little bed out of everything we bought and we sat there, for three hours, just reading. We read in silence but that silence said so much. It said that I’m comfortable with you, it said that I would rather spend time sitting with you and reading rather than going out on a Friday night. That was my most favourite night. After we finished reading I slid over next to you and I put my head on your chest. I could feel how fast your heart was beating, it was beating almost as fast as mine. After a few minutes you were treading your fingers through my hair, and I never felt something so soothing and electrocuting in the same sense, until you kissed me. That was our very first kiss, in the back of your car. And it was intoxicating, I knew at that moment, if I ever had to kiss just one person for the rest of my life, I would chose you. 

I remember our first fight as clear as day, but now looking back to it, there was nothing to fight about. We were sitting on my bed, you were the little spoon, and you whispered into my ear “I love you.” Every time you said that I melted a little more, but I felt like your “I love you” was a little bit more than that, it felt like it was drenched in apologies. I sat up from where I was sitting and said rather harshly, “what did you do?” You looked at me with sorrow eyes, at the brink of overflowing at any moment. You said that Lily Webster kissed you that afternoon, and you tried to push her away, but it didn’t work. I yelled at you until my throat was bare, and I don’t know why, all I knew in that moment was that I wanted to be the only person to feel your lips. After the screaming was over you left, and I kept beating myself up over how I reacted, so I left my room at 12:15 that night and ran over to your house. Like any romantic, when I arrived I threw pebbles at your window. When I saw you opening your window I saw that your eyes were bloodshot, you looked like you just cried a river, and my stomach sunk because I did that to you. I made you cry, and I made you doubt yourself for a stupid reason. When I apologised we hugged, a hug that said everything that it was meant to and more, and I promised myself at moment that I would never let go of you. 

Our junior prom was wild. We went out to get tuxes together, we decided to both wear grey suits with paisley blue ties. I couldn’t stop staring at you that night because of how perfect you looked, because Theodore, you looked so incredibly handsome. That night we danced until we couldn’t feel our legs, and sung until our throats were bare, but that didn’t stop us from going to Chase’s party. Most people get worried when their partner drinks because they are scared of getting cheated on, but we were both hammered. The next morning when I checked my phone I had a few snapchats from Andi, and one of them was of you standing on a table and professing your love for me. 

Your last ever high school basketball game was so bitter sweet. I remember staying up until midnight the night before making sure you’re sign looked as great as you do. I decided to go with sparkly letters that said “May all your swishes come true.” You let me wear your blue basketball hoodie, that said “Captain Kippen” On the back. During your speech you said you couldn’t have made it this far without me, but I want to tell you, I couldn’t do this life thing without you. 

Senior prom was one of the most amazing nights of my life. Unlike junior prom, after we danced our hearts out and took home prom court, we went back to my house and stole some liquor from my dads liquor cabinet. We spent the whole night in my room passing bottles back and forth, talking about the future, exchanging kisses between. The next morning I woke up in your arms, I never wanted to leave, I felt so safe.

Graduation, I was the valedictorian and my nerves overtook me. I remember right before we went on stage you took my hand in yours and kissed my palm, you promised me that everything was going to be alright. And it was, it was absolutely perfect, because you were by my side. We made it through high school together, but we were splitting apart in the end. You couldn’t deny that chance at a basketball scholarship in North Carolina and I couldn’t turn away Columbia, but we said we would have the summer and we did. We had the whole summer, and we spent it together. Days at the beach, nights in your car. Ice cream cones and s’mores, milkshakes and baby taters, and long drives with our fingers intertwined. I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Now, tonight, is the last night I get to spend with you, and I don’t want you to leave. I want to to tell you how much I love you, how you changed my life, but I feel like I already did that. This isn’t goodbye Teej, this isn’t breaking up, this is a see you later, this is a I’ll miss you, and most importantly this is a letter to tell you that you can accomplish your dreams, because I believe in you Theodore, I always have and I always will. 

Love always,   
Cyrus


End file.
